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July 19, 2017 Wednesday
            It is hard to believe this is Wednesday.  The last week has been so terrible.  The pain has not let up and coming off the medicine that helps with the brownouts and blackouts has left me with the beginnings of brownouts.  It is hard to stay awake and now I hurt more when I sleep so my sleep is restless and leaves me weaker.  It has been like a nightmare and a daymare combined!
            Since reading the Bible helps in bad times I am today beginning the Psalms even with reading three times the first ten chapters of Job.  In some ways I feel like Job but with better family and friends.  I know some wonder what I did wrong that God hasn’t healed me but over and over God pulls me back to the story of Lazarus and the blind man who suffered for the Glory of God.
            I do not understand what God is doing but I know God is with me and the God who healed me when I was 19 and just a couple of months to live could heal me now but has chosen as He said to me to “heal me through it and not from it.” So I wait upon my Lord and My Love praying that I will glorify Him by my love and bring a smile to His face.
            Remind me My Love to;
“Serve the Lord with fear and celebrate His rule with trembling.
Kiss His Son, or He will be Angry and your way will lead to your destruction,
for His wrath can flare up in a moment.

Blessed are all those who take refuge in Him.”  Psalm 2 NIVUK

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