May 8, 2024

“6 ¶ Pour out Your wrath on the nations that do not know You, And on the kingdoms that do not call on Your name. 7 For they have devoured Jacob, And laid waste his dwelling place. 8 Oh, do not remember former iniquities against us! Let Your tender mercies come speedily to meet us, For we have been brought very low. 9 Help us, O God of our salvation, For the glory of Your name; And deliver us, and provide atonement for our sins, For Your name’s sake! 10 Why should the nations say, “Where is their God?” Let there be known among the nations in our sight The avenging of the blood of Your servants which has been shed. 11 Let the groaning of the prisoner come before You; According to the greatness of Your power Preserve those who are appointed to die; 12 And return to our neighbors sevenfold into their bosom Their reproach with which they have reproached You, O Lord. 13 So we, Your people and sheep of Your pasture, Will give You thanks forever; We will show forth Your praise to all generations.” (Psalm 79:6-13 NKJV)

Pour Your wrath God on the lost

but please have mercy on me God

as the sheep of Your pasture thanks

Prayerful question: Do I examine my prayers for inconsistencies in my desires?

May 7, 2024

“1 ¶ «A Psalm of Asaph.» O God, the nations have come into Your inheritance; Your holy temple they have defiled; They have laid Jerusalem in heaps. 2 The dead bodies of Your servants They have given as food for the birds of the heavens, The flesh of Your saints to the beasts of the earth. 3 Their blood they have shed like water all around Jerusalem, And there was no one to bury them. 4 We have become a reproach to our neighbors, A scorn and derision to those who are around us. 5 How long, LORD? Will You be angry forever? Will Your jealousy burn like fire?” (Ps 79:1-5 NKJV)

Why are Your people being murdered

Why are Your people being defiled

How long will You forget Your people

Will You protect them from evil ones

Prayerful question: Do I pray for wisdom to understand the suffering of God’s people?

May 6, 2024

“40 ¶ How often they provoked Him in the wilderness, And grieved Him in the desert! 41 Yes, again and again they tempted God, And limited the Holy One of Israel. 42 They did not remember His power: The day when He redeemed them from the enemy, 43 When He worked His signs in Egypt, And His wonders in the field of Zoan; 44 Turned their rivers into blood, And their streams, that they could not drink. 45 He sent swarms of flies among them, which devoured them, And frogs, which destroyed them. 46 He also gave their crops to the caterpillar, And their labor to the locust. 47 He destroyed their vines with hail, And their sycamore trees with frost. 48 He also gave up their cattle to the hail, And their flocks to fiery lightning. 49 He cast on them the fierceness of His anger, Wrath, indignation, and trouble, By sending angels of destruction among them. 50 He made a path for His anger; He did not spare their soul from death, But gave their life over to the plague, 51 And destroyed all the firstborn in Egypt, The first of their strength in the tents of Ham. 52 But He made His own people go forth like sheep, And guided them in the wilderness like a flock; 53 And He led them on safely, so that they did not fear; But the sea overwhelmed their enemies. 54 And He brought them to His holy border, This mountain which His right hand had acquired. 55 He also drove out the nations before them, Allotted them an inheritance by survey, And made the tribes of Israel dwell in their tents. 56 Yet they tested and provoked the Most High God, And did not keep His testimonies, 57 But turned back and acted unfaithfully like their fathers; They were turned aside like a deceitful bow. 58 For they provoked Him to anger with their high places, And moved Him to jealousy with their carved images. 59 When God heard this, He was furious, And greatly abhorred Israel, 60 So that He forsook the tabernacle of Shiloh, The tent He had placed among men, 61 And delivered His strength into captivity, And His glory into the enemy’s hand. 62 He also gave His people over to the sword, And was furious with His inheritance. 63 The fire consumed their young men, And their maidens were not given in marriage. 64 Their priests fell by the sword, And their widows made no lamentation. 65 Then the Lord awoke as from sleep, Like a mighty man who shouts because of wine. 66 And He beat back His enemies; He put them to a perpetual reproach. 67 Moreover He rejected the tent of Joseph, And did not choose the tribe of Ephraim, 68 But chose the tribe of Judah, Mount Zion which He loved. 69 And He built His sanctuary like the heights, Like the earth which He has established forever. 70 He also chose David His servant, And took him from the sheepfolds; 71 From following the ewes that had young He brought him, To shepherd Jacob His people, And Israel His inheritance. 72 So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart, And guided them by the skillfulness of his hands.” (Psalm 78:40-72 NKJV)

I have grieved You God and deserve to be punished

but even more I fear being cut off from You forever

for without You I am helpless, weak and vulnerable

naked against my own sin and this frightening world

Please forgive me God and again show Your mercy

please offer me the mercy and grace I do not deserve

and be my Good Shepherd and rescue Your lost sheep

guide me to the safety of You and Your healing touch

Prayerful question: Does my time of prayer recognize I need God to be with God?

The ghosts are gathering all around

I see them in the corner of my eye

They are only real to me you see

For the ghosts are apart of me

But that does not mean unreal

For their presence is very real

They ask me questions for me

The questions I don’t know

At times I feel more at home

With these ghosts of mine

They are not just of my mind

They are part of my soul

My soul I once gave away

To quiet lifes maddening fray

I will never be a ghost

Because to die you must live

I have just never been

A shadow a veil a mist

If I had stepped over side

Or into engine did reside

If I had took shot and died

I would have never been

Daddy Lord You gave life

But I never lived the gift

Never ever afraid to die - Just afraid I might live.

(After all I have been through I thought I was getting better. Now I find that I am in even worse shape. The past is clawing and the present is screaming. The pain is going back to numbness. I am going back to closing off. I write this in the Chapel at First. It is a place of such hope for me. So often I have come to be with my Love, but now it is a place to hide. But how can you hide from yourself? I don’t know or even care. Just let it all be quiet. Just let it be quiet. Jesus Shepherd holding sheep. Are You holding me?) 11/12/16

May 5, 2024

“21 Therefore the LORD heard this and was furious; So a fire was kindled against Jacob, And anger also came up against Israel, 22 Because they did not believe in God, And did not trust in His salvation. 23 Yet He had commanded the clouds above, And opened the doors of heaven, 24 Had rained down manna on them to eat, And given them of the bread of heaven. 25 Men ate angels’ food; He sent them food to the full. 26 He caused an east wind to blow in the heavens; And by His power He brought in the south wind. 27 He also rained meat on them like the dust, Feathered fowl like the sand of the seas; 28 And He let them fall in the midst of their camp, All around their dwellings. 29 So they ate and were well filled, For He gave them their own desire. 30 They were not deprived of their craving; But while their food was still in their mouths, 31 The wrath of God came against them, And slew the stoutest of them, And struck down the choice men of Israel. 32 In spite of this they still sinned, And did not believe in His wondrous works. 33 Therefore their days He consumed in futility, And their years in fear. 34 When He slew them, then they sought Him; And they returned and sought earnestly for God. 35 Then they remembered that God was their rock, And the Most High God their Redeemer. 36 Nevertheless they flattered Him with their mouth, And they lied to Him with their tongue; 37 For their heart was not steadfast with Him, Nor were they faithful in His covenant. 38 But He, being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity, And did not destroy them. Yes, many a time He turned His anger away, And did not stir up all His wrath; 39 For He remembered that they were but flesh, A breath that passes away and does not come again.” (Psalm 78:21-39 NKJV)

If I do not trust in the Bible how can I trust in salvation

If I do not trust God forgives sin can I have any hope

I trust God is my faithful and compassionate redeemer

Prayerful question: Do I “remember” the faithfulness of God and trust Him?

May 4, 2024

“9 ¶ The children of Ephraim, being armed and carrying bows, Turned back in the day of battle. 10 They did not keep the covenant of God; They refused to walk in His law, 11 And forgot His works And His wonders that He had shown them. 12 Marvelous things He did in the sight of their fathers, In the land of Egypt, in the field of Zoan. 13 He divided the sea and caused them to pass through; And He made the waters stand up like a heap. 14 In the daytime also He led them with the cloud, And all the night with a light of fire. 15 He split the rocks in the wilderness, And gave them drink in abundance like the depths. 16 He also brought streams out of the rock, And caused waters to run down like rivers. 17 But they sinned even more against Him By rebelling against the Most High in the wilderness. 18 And they tested God in their heart By asking for the food of their fancy. 19 Yes, they spoke against God: They said, “Can God prepare a table in the wilderness? 20 Behold, He struck the rock, So that the waters gushed out, And the streams overflowed. Can He give bread also? Can He provide meat for His people?”” (Psalm 78:9-20 NKJV)

“I’m in the Lord’s army, I’m in the Lord’s army

I may never march with the infantry, ride with the cavalry,

shoot the artillery, I may never fly over the enemy

but I’m in the Lord’s army”

(I used to sing this song at the Junior Soldiers Class at the Salvation Army)

Prayerful question: Does my prayer recognize those who follow God are in an active war with those who hate God and His people?

(The evil one has no power to harm God so seeks to hurt God by harming those God loves.)

BURIED ALIVE

On my desk there is a book

I see “Buried Alive” as I look

And this title which I see

Seems to best describe me

Buried under my own sin

And an avalanche of others whim

Drowning in a sea of guilt

And hurting words my heart wilt

Some have said I am depressed

Others hope for better dressed

In the swamp of expectations

My life held in deprecation

But Jesus said I shall arise

From those who criticize

For if they feel I am straying

For my soul they should be praying

So I will rise above it all

And not let it make me fall

I will not answer pain for pain

For in that game there is no gain By Ronald Ramsey October 10, 2002