March 20, 2018 Tuesday

“« To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba. » Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness; According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight — That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me. Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.” (Psalm 51:1-6 NKJV)

            When I first became a Christian David amazed me and I struggled with him being “a man after God’s own heart” since David was responsible for so many terrible things.  How could he be “a man after God’s own heart”?

            The answer is seen in the rest of this passage as David cries out to God for forgiveness with his whole heart.  David is constantly bothered by his sin and thus is not only confessing but seeking to change who he is.

            David not only sees his sin but even the many different ways he sins.  Take time to list the different words used for sin and then define them and discover the many way we often sin.

            David also shares some of the ways God forgives those who confess their sin.  As with sin forgiveness comes in many different ways as God deals with a multitude of sin and a multitude of sinners. 

            David helps us see the bad side of the Good News because the Good News is only good because we are sinners with no way out of our sin.  David reminds us of original sin which is passed along like a genetic defect. 

            The Good News is a reminder that God is righteous and merciful and we are not able to overcome sin and we must depend on God for forgiveness.  The Good News is also a reminder that all sin is against God as we break His commandments.  The God whom we sin against is the only one who can forgive us and change us!

            Do you see the sin in your own life?  Are you willing to ask God’s forgiveness?  Do you appreciate all God has done for you?

            I got very little sleep again and the weariness was so bad I couldn’t even get up from bed.  Bonnie had to help me get up and it was hard to walk when I did get up.  The muscles in my legs have been tensed so long they are very weary and do not want to work well.  As the pain in my legs decreased a little the pain in so many places increased.  I feel bad for Bonnie and Rebecca who want to help but there really isn’t any way they can.  But God gave me a wonderful time of prayer and watching Matthew on TV helped renew my soul and my strength.

March 19, 2018 Monday

““Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour. “Father, glorify Your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, saying, “I have both glorified it and will glorify it again.” Therefore the people who stood by and heard it said that it had thundered. Others said, “An angel has spoken to Him.” Jesus answered and said, “This voice did not come because of Me, but for your sake. “Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be cast out. “And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself.” This He said, signifying by what death He would die.” (John 12:27-33 NKJV)

            I once read a book entitled “Pain, the Gift Nobody Wants”.  Suffering is a part of our everyday life and it is at the heart of the Good News.  By His suffering and death Jesus bore our sin and suffering and gave meaning to our suffering!

            We ask God to save us from our pain and suffering and get angry when God doesn’t “answer” our prayers.  Like patience we want God to give it to us and to give it to us now!

            In this passage and others in the New Testament we may be confused as Jesus teaches us that suffering can be for the Glory of God.  The suffering of Jesus has become the heart of the Christian faith which is why the cross is our symbol to the world.

            The cross reminds us that because the suffering of Jesus carried the meaning of redemption our own suffering can have meaning and glorify God.  God may choose to save us through suffering rather than from it.

            Reading the Bible and studying the history of the Church you will see over and over how God used suffering and loss to change the life of someone and through them to impact many lives through God!  Great hymns of faith, great messages of faith, books that change lives and so many other things come from the press of pain.

            I remember reading once that they believe coal is formed by many dead things pressed down for a long time.  And then the coal through heat and great pressure can become a diamond.  Out of so much death and suffering comes a diamond that can withstand just about anything! 

            But the pain and suffering must flow through the grace and love of God or it will make us bitter rather than better!  Without seeing the meaning of the suffering of Jesus we can get angry at God believing He does not understand what we are going through.

            When you go through suffering and pain do you look to the suffering of Jesus to find meaning?  Are you willing to see your pain and suffering as a “blessing” from God and then be able to glorify God?

(Some may think this is just an academic treatment but this is very personal to me.  I have been on disability for almost a year and had to leave the pastoral ministry where I really felt the presence of God and loved it.  Currently the pain is terrible and increasing.  When we began looking for a diagnosis I asked God to heal me.  As I lay prostrate before the Altar God told me plainly, “I will heal you through this and not from this.”  God also told me my ministry was to grow in this time of suffering.  When a child in my former congregation prayed for me to get well I realized that I was well!  For the God of all loves me and is with me every day in the midst of the suffering.  I can honestly say I am glad for this time of suffering for I have experienced the love and support of God so clearly.)

            I was only able to sleep for about 3 hours last night because of the pain.  The weariness is terrible but I am not sure if it comes from the lack of sleep or the pain.  (Or both!)  Bonnie and I went for a little walk which is the first time in a long while.  She has been sharing with me about her trip to Savage Gardens and it is such a blessing because I get to experience so many things as they share with me.  

March 18, 2018 Sunday

“Now there were certain Greeks among those who came up to worship at the feast. Then they came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida of Galilee, and asked him, saying, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip came and told Andrew, and in turn Andrew and Philip told Jesus. But Jesus answered them, saying, “The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified. “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. “He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. “If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.” (John 12:20-26 NKJV)

            Like most people the Jews had and us and them way of seeing the world.  You were either a Jew or you were a gentile.  A Greek was an even worse form of gentile since it was Greeks who had enslaved Israel until the Maccabean revolt just before the time of Jesus.  Though the Sadducees were a sort of Jewish Greek or some thought they were more Greek Jewish.

            Gentiles who believed in God and sought to grow in their knowledge of God were titled God Fearers.  They were given privileges to be part of certain services and were considered less of an outsider by the Jews.  Sadly a god Fearer couldn’t become a full Jew but their children could.

            These “Greeks” were probably God fearers and also are a reminder of the Wise Men who came to give gifts to honor Jesus as king.  It is interesting that the term used is magi and is the title Daniel was given.

            Jesus has an amazing response to the coming of these Greeks.  You can almost feel the sadness as this sign of what Jesus had to face stood before Him.  For Jesus did not come to offer Himself for just the Jews but for the whole world!  Now as the Greek gentiles came to Him the time was ripe for the death of Jesus to become the seed of life for all people!

            But Jesus reminds us that we also must lay down our lives for God.  We also must give our lives so that others, even our enemies can come to life in Jesus Christ!   We must share to Good News that God fearers can become fully a child of God.

            Are you a God fearer?  Have you gone from a God fearer to become a Christian?  If you are a Christian have you shared this Good News with others?

            The pain grew last night and I was not able to sleep until after 1:30 AM.  Then the hose on my CPAP machine gurgled all night and so I got very little sleep.  I was not able to go to Worship and after more than a week of severe pain I feel terrible.  I listened to the Podcast from First Jeff and I enjoyed Joe Payne’s message for Transfiguration Sunday.     

March 17, 2018 Saturday

“I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the LORD, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.” (Jeremiah 29:14 NKJV)

            Christians will sometimes talk about saving someone and can even think that it is our responsibility for people to be saved.  The burden of trying to do what is God’s job is too much for a person to bear.  If we are not careful the strain can dramatically affect our lives in every way.

            “I will be found by you, says the LORD” May seem to imply it is all on us to come to God.  There is a truth in this because God has already made the way for us through the suffering, death and resurrection of Jesus and so all that is left is for us to “find” God.

            Notice that God has prepared the way for us to “find” Him and all the planning, preparation and cost has been done by and through God.  God has called us by the Holy Spirit or we wouldn’t even consider coming back to God.

            God’s promise is that we will be brought back from captivity.  We will be set free and God will bring us back to where we were before the Fall.  Once again we will be free to walk with God and through studying the Bible and prayer we can grow in our relationship with God.

            Through the suffering and the decision of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane we can be brought back to the Garden where we walked with God!  The suffering of Jesus stands in place of the suffering we deserve and the relationship that the Trinity has is God’s heart desire (John 17).

            Have you “found” God?  Are you growing in your relationship with Jesus?  What does John 17 tell you about the heart of God?

            Saturday is a little better day but the pain comes and goes rather than just stays.  The pain seems to have moved up to the torso but the weariness in my legs makes it hard to walk.  I am very unsure of my legs and am wobbly.  Jonathan came by for lunch and we had a great visit.  He stayed until he and Rebecca went to have supper with Grandmommy.  Was able to read from the Bible some and had a good time of prayer.

March 16, 2018 Friday

“Then they journeyed from Mount Hor by the Way of the Red Sea, to go around the land of Edom; and the soul of the people became very discouraged on the way. And the people spoke against God and against Moses: “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and our soul loathes this worthless bread.” So the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and many of the people of Israel died. Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, “We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD and against you; pray to the LORD that He take away the serpents from us.” So Moses prayed for the people. Then the LORD said to Moses, “Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and it shall be that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, shall live.” So Moses made a bronze serpent, and put it on a pole; and so it was, if a serpent had bitten anyone, when he looked at the bronze serpent, he lived.” (Numbers 21:4-9 NKJV)

            Have you ever complained about what God has given to you?  Many Christians suffer imprisonment, being relegated to being second class citizens, used as slaves, having their children sold as sexual slave and giving their lives for their faith. 

            The Israelites saw many of their family members die as slaves in Egypt.  The male babies were killed by the Egyptians to lessen the Israelites growth in population.  Their lives were filled with suffering and fear.

            Yet now they complained about their diet when they had daily provision of food provided by God.  They thought that returning to slavery was better than the freedom God gave to them as well as the food provided for them. 

            Their ingratitude brought a judgment of fiery serpents.  What are fiery serpents?  Could we be talking about dragons or the bite of the serpents feeling like fire?  Is this a reminder of the Fall where a serpent tempted humanity to be their own God?

            When we turn from God we lose the protection we depend on and are open to natural and supernatural dangers.  We place ourselves under the slavery of sin as we reject the freedom God offers us. 

            God offered them a chance to regain His protection and healing if they would only look at the serpent on the pole.  If we will look at Jesus on the cross we too will be saved from a fiery death to life.

            For Jesus became sin and became the serpent on the cross that overcame the Fall and became the second Adam who this time did not choose sin and thus made life possible for us.  Today the image of the serpent on a pole became the symbol for physicians and for healing.

            Are you looking away from Jesus on the cross or are you looking at Jesus on the cross to receive the healing you need?       

            Today was a little better and I was able to finish the cards to the shut-ins and Bonnie got it in the mail.  I am so weary and though my legs are a little better there is a pain in my side that causes me to get dizzy when it happens.  If I am up it has almost caused me to lose my balance.  But God enabled me to finish the cards and spend some time in prayer.

March 15, 2018 Thursday

“Fools, because of their transgression, And because of their iniquities, were afflicted. Their soul abhorred all manner of food, And they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, And He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions. Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men! Let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, And declare His works with rejoicing.” (Psalm 107:17-22 NKJV)

            Does it make you uncomfortable that God uses the word fools to describe those who cut themselves off from God?  But what would you call a drowning person who casts off their lifejacket?

            When all creation was literally drowning in sin and selfishness we cast off God’s hope for life!  Each choice and each day brought us closer to “the gates of death.”

            So God sent His Word and brought healing!  God has provided the written word of God which is the Bible and the Living Word of God who is Jesus!  God provided all we needed for salvation and new life!

            The Psalmist said that God would heal by His Word and the word for Savior means to heal and to make one whole.  God would heal us from sin and deliver us from the death to come.

            Why would God do such a thing?  The Psalmist calls to proclaim God’s goodness, wonderful works and their delivery!  Despite our sin and selfishness God out of His goodness works so we can depend on grace when our own works fall so short.

            Do you read the written word of God and place your faith in the Living Word Jesus?  Do you give thanks for the wonderful hope we have through God’s goodness?

            This is a little better day.  The pain continues and today the weariness is like a great load on me.  It is almost as though the weariness begets weariness.  I did get some things done and spent some time listening to the Bible and praying.  Bonnie took Mom to the doctors again and everything went well.  We daily give thanks to the amazing love and provision of God!

March 14, 2018 Wednesday

“Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfies the longing soul, And fills the hungry soul with goodness. Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, Bound in affliction and irons —  Because they rebelled against the words of God, And despised the counsel of the Most High, Therefore He brought down their heart with labor; They fell down, and there was none to help. Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, And He saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, And broke their chains in pieces. Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men! For He has broken the gates of bronze, And cut the bars of iron in two.” (Psalm 107:8-16 NKJV)

            One of my favorite hymns is “Count Your Blessings”.

Count your blessings, name them one by one

Count your blessings, see what God has done

            The Psalmist is counting the many blessings the people of Israel have received from God and calling them to remember and to give thanks. The Psalmist cries out:

“Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men!”

            There is a tone of either desperation or despair that people do not see God’s many blessings or that they refuse to give thanks to God for them.  The Psalmist even gives us reminders of what we should give thanks to God for.

            An amazing thing about the remembrance of the blessings is also the reminder of how undeserving to receive them we are!  Blessings from God which are not recognized bring us to affliction and cause our fall even after we have come to Jesus.

            YET, if we cry out to God and admit our need God will break our chains and set us free!  God will save us from our distress, the darkness in our lives and even death.

            When we realize we are so undeserving of any good thing from God we are humbled and become able to give thanks.  We are forced to recognize our need for God’s blessings and salvation.  We are forced to recognize our dependence upon God.

            Maybe that is why in the midst of defeat and grief at the loss of so many lives President Lincoln called for a day of Thanksgiving?  Maybe having to recognize we are so undeserving and in need is why it is so hard to give thanks?

            It is a little better today but as the legs seems a little better my toes tag team and now they hurt badly.  The weariness causes my mind to struggle with reading and speaking clearly.  My memory seems to struggle and not just with the more recent memories but also with the past.  Bonnie took her mom to the doctors and Rebecca went to group but I was ok.  I feel so bad for them because they want to help but there really isn’t anything they can do.  I know how hard it is to not be able to stop the pain or do anything to help.  But their love and concern are a blessing in itself.  The God who bore this pain on the cross strengthens me and reminds me that all this comes under His grace.